The things we do as moms.

On Monday, I took S's diapers away.

I fully expected this to be a spectacular failure, but he has surprised me. Completely and entirely surprised me. He is not only telling me that he needs to go, but has had only a couple of teeny little accidents. And when I say teeny, I mean quarter-sized damp spot in his undies.

He thinks he's hot shit. Runs around yelling "I'm WEARING UNDERWEARS!!!". Tells everyone who will listen that he pees in the toilet and not in his underwears.

Last night, R & the kids met me for dinner. Despite his third successful day, I suggested to R that he put him in a pull-up prior to coming out for dinner. I'm not stupid. I know being at home is one thing and being out is completely different.

So off we go. And once in the restaurant, he gets *that* look, stands up on his chair, and grabs his crotch, loudly exclaiming "I NEED GO PEE!".

Four times we take him to the bathroom. Four times we come back, unsuccessful. The diaper is still dry. It's OBVIOUS he needs to go and that he is not going to go in his diaper.

Finally, he gives up and goes.

Now the thing about S is he has a "prepubescent fat pad", and his "manhood" likes to hide in there... thus making it tricky to stand up and aim. (you KNOW he's going to kill me for this some day, right??) So he's been sitting. And it's fine - AT HOME - because he uses a potty seat on the regular toilet, and that seat has a splash guard.

Of course, Mom is thinking and I figure I'll just stick a finger and aim it in the toilet when he starts to go.

Good theory, except he's not thrilled about it. And when I try and point it down, something goes horribly wrong and it's spraying UP AND OUT, and all over the wall.

So I did what any mom would do.... I improvised and made a splash shield. With my hand. And we both found this remarkably funny.

I think I'll find a piece of plastic I can keep in a ziplock for future bathroom outiong experiences.

Last night, I was just thankful for hot water and lots of soap.