I think I'm going to write a book....
Called "101 Reasons I Cannot Eat My Lunch".
One of my daycare charges is a very picky eater. He won't eat vegetables. He won't eat fruit. Hell, he won't even eat peanut butter sandwiches unless they are made on white bread with Welch's grape jelly, and I suspect even then he'd have a reason NOT to eat it.
On Friday, I made mac & cheese for lunch. Because Pickyboy won't even eat that, I gave him exactly one tablespoon (along with a fruit, veggie, and wiener) and waved my magic wand... "I have cupcakes for dessert for everyone who cleans their plates".
Three plates were literally licked clean. On the fourth, everything remained.
"I can't eat it!! There's a SPIDER in it!!"
Well, my initial reaction was "Shut up and eat it, it's just extra protein". But alas, I'm sure licensing would be here in a heartbeat if I actually said that to him, so I took his plate.
So I looked and looked, and finally got out the microscope to examine the spider. I have no idea WHAT it was, but there was the tiniest piece of black something. It could have been a piece of ANYTHING, although my personal suspicion is that Mr. Manipulative probably picked up a piece of dirt and stuck it on there. Because naturally I am stupid and I might think that a piece of dirt looks exactly like a spider. And if I am that stupid, I might also forget that he didn't eat ANYTHING on his plate, and I might just give him a cupcake.
But what poor old Pickyboy doesn't know is that I am not as stupid as I appear to be. So when I gave him the choice of my removing his "spider" and giving him NEW mac & cheese, or just throwing everything out and being done with it, he chose to throw everything out. Fine by me. And Emma (our yellow Lab) was QUITE delighted by his choice.
And when he asked for HIS cupcake, because he couldn't possibly eat his lunch with a spider in it, after all, I told him the SPIDER got his cupcake. Because, after all, the spider is the only one who ate the lunch. Unless you count Emma. And she's watching her girlish figure.
One of my daycare charges is a very picky eater. He won't eat vegetables. He won't eat fruit. Hell, he won't even eat peanut butter sandwiches unless they are made on white bread with Welch's grape jelly, and I suspect even then he'd have a reason NOT to eat it.
On Friday, I made mac & cheese for lunch. Because Pickyboy won't even eat that, I gave him exactly one tablespoon (along with a fruit, veggie, and wiener) and waved my magic wand... "I have cupcakes for dessert for everyone who cleans their plates".
Three plates were literally licked clean. On the fourth, everything remained.
"I can't eat it!! There's a SPIDER in it!!"
Well, my initial reaction was "Shut up and eat it, it's just extra protein". But alas, I'm sure licensing would be here in a heartbeat if I actually said that to him, so I took his plate.
So I looked and looked, and finally got out the microscope to examine the spider. I have no idea WHAT it was, but there was the tiniest piece of black something. It could have been a piece of ANYTHING, although my personal suspicion is that Mr. Manipulative probably picked up a piece of dirt and stuck it on there. Because naturally I am stupid and I might think that a piece of dirt looks exactly like a spider. And if I am that stupid, I might also forget that he didn't eat ANYTHING on his plate, and I might just give him a cupcake.
But what poor old Pickyboy doesn't know is that I am not as stupid as I appear to be. So when I gave him the choice of my removing his "spider" and giving him NEW mac & cheese, or just throwing everything out and being done with it, he chose to throw everything out. Fine by me. And Emma (our yellow Lab) was QUITE delighted by his choice.
And when he asked for HIS cupcake, because he couldn't possibly eat his lunch with a spider in it, after all, I told him the SPIDER got his cupcake. Because, after all, the spider is the only one who ate the lunch. Unless you count Emma. And she's watching her girlish figure.
posted by KB at 2:36 PM
1 Comments:
So, I came across your blog with the whole Next Blog thing, and I've just been kind of stuck, reading a bunch of your posts, and littering them with comments. Hope ya don't mind. ;) Very funny. Very well written. Kudos!
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