So 7yo H says to me rather casually, "Mommy, what's a ball sack?".

I half-choke, madly thinking "OMG she CAN'T be asking about what I think she's asking about OMG what do I tell her where DOES she get this stuff from somebody's going to die" and calmly reply, "Oh you know, a big sack you carry balls in. Like the ball sack we use for your soccer stuff!". Pat myself on the shoulder for handling THAT one with such grace and eloquence! WTG Mom! Score one for the parent!!

There's silence from the back seat as she considers this. Then she pipes up again. "Y'know, I don't think that's right".

SHIT. Now what do I say? Thinkthinkthinkdiffusesituationthinkthinkthink!!!

"Where did you hear that, H? Tell me how it was used??"

She says, "Some teenagers."

Upon further questioning, she elaborates. "Yeah, some teenagers wrote all over the playground at school. They wrote all kinds of nasty awful things and Dr A said just to ignore it, not look, and they would take care of it. But it was hard not to look, I looked and saw that!"

At this point, 5yo A chimes in. "YEAH! And it said SUCK MY BALLSACK! And I don't think they meant one with soccer balls, MOM!"

<<>>

***head slapping in the front, wishing myself anywhere but there***

Perhaps silence is the best answer. I'll just pretend that I didn't hear any of it.

From the back, H speaks. "So.... what IS a ballsack then??"

I finally get smart and do what I should have done in the first place.

"ASK YOUR FATHER WHEN WE GET HOME!"