Thursday, March 27, 2008

it's like a scene from a bad, bad movie......

I thought potty training was a good idea.

I thought I was blessed with a genius child.

I thought having him use the toilet would be easier than this! :)

Despite S training in record time, and despite him being really an angel of a kid when it comes to the toilet, there are things he needs to work on.

Like not finding the need to remove everything but his t-shirt in order to use the toilet.

And not running around starkers in the back yard.

But mostly, there's just something really uncool about sitting on your mom's lap and pulling down your undies to show your mom that "LOOK, IT'S REALLY BIG!!!" and standing at attention.

Even if you are only two, and it's terribly funny to your mom.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Travelling (part 2)

So anyways..... we recently went to Mexico for a family vacation. I should have known it was a bad omen when we actually left the house on time!!

The problems started at Security. It's 5am. We're there with 3 kids, their backpacks, our laptops, and a carseat. The guy behind me in line takes his shoes off and drops them in the grey basket that I am about to put mine into... then keeps shoving it along. I'm not sure if he just wasn't awake yet or what, but he was irritating the snot out of me!!

S completely endeared himself to the security guard - she had him walk through the metal detector and he went straight to her and wrapped his arms around her legs in the biggest hug I've seen in a while. I thought this could be a problem - let's face it, most don't have a sense of humor - but she seemed quite pleased by it!

Unfortunately, another MrHappy had pulled my bag aside and informed me he was going to look in it. Not a problem, but I didn't understand why as I'd only packed swimsuits and the likes in case our luggage got lost en route. MrHappy tells me NOT TO TOUCH THE BAG and to STEP BACK as he opens it up... uhhhhh, all righty then, I wasn't going to touch it and I'm at least 3 feet away, but whatever. Turns out I had unthinkingly thrown in a bottle of sunscreen. Genius. I can't believe I did that. We had 40 minutes til our flight was scheduled to depart and chose to chuck it rather than try and get it in our baggage. Case closed.

HOWEVER, Mr. Murphy and his Law were already at work, and our flight was delayed.... because someone didn't power the aircraft down the night before, and the battery was essentially drained. The way I understand it, they more or less needed a jumpstart to get it going.

Things finally got rolling, and we boarded. As we walked to the jetway, the super-pleasant lady told us we would likely miss our connecting flight, but not to worry, they would rebook us on another airline. JUST what I need.

The flight was bumpy. Denver, as always, was experiencing less than perfect weather and this necessitated seatbelts for the latter half of the flight. Which normally wouldn't be a problem, but 5yo A needed to pee. And she needed to go BADLY. You'd think a 5yo crying "I NEED TO PEE!!!" would cause some people to be courteous and let us off the plane, but no...... and (of course) we were at the very back......

A and I got off the plane and RAN to the closest bathroom, not even bothering to agree on a meeting place with Daddy. She made it - barely. Once out, I checked the departing flights and was surprised to see that our flight to Cabo was delayed by 10 minutes and we actually stood a chance of making it.... if we could find Daddy.

A quick look around with no sign of him, and I decided we'd head for the gate. It was 30 gates away and we needed to boogie if we had any hope of making it. We ran into R, H, & S at the next set of bathrooms and all ran together.

Let me set the scene for you. S was sitting in his carseat, which was strapped to a rolling luggage cart ($14 at WalMart -forget that fancy $250 airplace carseat with wheels, this works just as well!). I'm carrying my laptop, his backpack, and A's backpack. R and H are ahead, running for the gate. I'm pushing S in the carseat contraption - which, by the way - is nowhere near as well designed as a jogging stroller - carrying the backpacks, and literally dragging 5yo A along.

We do this for 30 gates, passing a couple of people from our previous flight.

We catch up to H and I add cheerleading to the list of things I am doing..... cheering both girls on while we run.

Get to our gate... and they tell us they have JUST closed the aircraft doors and we are too late. Naturally. Because, after all, I'm running on 90 minutes of sleep, no food, and we've just run 30 gates. Damn Murphy.

We get rebooked on another flight... in a different terminal. I try to make the situation positive and say we can get some breakfast (cuz God knows none of the airlines would ever serve you any food) and the Customer Service rep smiles and tells us to check in at the other airline first.

I should have known something was up.

The other airline takes the better part of the hour to get things straightened out... I think my favorite part of the whole thing was when we went to board and were told no.... the supervisor came over VERY quickly at that point and said we WERE getting on the plane and that we had not just spent all that time trying to get things straightened out to be denied boarding, and that they could work out the paperwork on their own once we left. I think I told her I loved her.

They also had all five of us sitting all over the plane. And this was actually okay with me. I was done. Shut down. Did not want to sit with my kids and had no problem with them sitting with other people. The other passengers, however, were not only happy to be moved out of the very last row in the plane, but also happy to be moved away from the children, so once again we sat in the last two rows. Naturally. Cuz there's that unwritten rule....

In the end, the resort was worth all the annoyances of the travel to get there. Going home was a different story, one that I will touch on another day. But when you get up in the morning, walk down to get coffee, and look out to see three grey whales in the ocean, you just can't complain.

At least not too much.

Travelling with Small Children (part 1)

People often tell us we are brave for flying with three children. Given that my family lives in another country, we don't have much choice. The children have all flown several times - the girls had been to different countries before they were three months old!

Airlines nowadays seem to have astrange concept of travelling with families. They don't let you preboard to secure a carseat, thus causing a backup in the boarding process as I try to get kids sitting still and a carseat strapped in. This is fun. There's nothing like leaning over two seats with two kids trying to do up seatbelts and poking me at the same time as I mud-wrestle the other seat into the space.

I also very much enjoy trying to walk down the plane aisle when the seats are already filled. For reasons completely unknown to me, we ALWAYS end up sitting at the back of the plane. This would make sense, I guess, if they boarded from the back forward. But they don't, so invariably I end up trying to carry a carseat and three backpacks down the aisle without bashing anyone in the head while shuffling at least two children along with my foot. This whole thing is made even more fun when your two year old suddenly sits down in the middle and refuses to move. Believe it or not, it is possible to carry a 2 year old, his carseat, and three backpacks with only minor damage to your fellow passengers.

Once seated, I do have to say I very much LOVE the passengers in the row ahead of us who lean their seats back (leaving the children in carseats NO PLACE to put their feet) and then glare at me when he kicks the seat. Honestly, people, he's not kicking your seat on purpose. You leaned your seat back, and now the seatback is right against the edge of his carseat. If he hadn't pulled his feet up, they would have been amputated at the knee. So give me a break. Put your damn seat upright and it won't be an issue, I promise!!

We thought we were very clever having S potty trained. What a mistake! It completely backfired on us once on an airplane!! He is in the classic "BATHROOM INSPECTOR" stage and loudly insisted every 10 minutes that "I NEED GO PEE, MOMMA!". Every time I would hush him and tell him "Dude, you just went!", he'd get louder and louder. I'm sure the people around us thought I was a horrible mother not taking my child to the bathroom, but hey, what can you do?

Which reminds me.... just a word of caution.... it is NOT a good idea to spend ANY amount of time in an airplane bathroom with your 2 year old who is trying to poop and smells terrible when there is turbulence, no fresh air blowing in there, and you're dealing with the after effects of too much beach party the night before. Not good at all. I seriously wondered at one point what the flight attendants would do if I went bursting out of the one bathroom and into the other to vomit. **Note to self - wine and air travel with small children does not mix!!**

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Joys of Boys

Being a mom of girls, I used to giggle when people would tell me stories of their sons and their fascination with certain parts of their anatomy. Then when my own son was born and he left it alone, I figured I was doing something right.

Then he potty trained.

And found out wearing underwear - or going commando - gives easy access to everything.

More often than I care to think about, I find the child pantless, giving it a yank for all he's worth. Last week, he discovered he doesn't even have to pull down the undies to get at it - there's that convenient little hole in the front of his shorts! Just big enough to put a small hand in! Check it out, Mom!

My other favorite is the convinction that he cannot have his pants on in order to use the toilet. Cuz there's nothing like being in the middle of the Denver or Chicago airport and having your two year old hollering "I NEED TO PEE!!!" and he drops his drawers right where he stands. This one I'm blaming on his sister (see "Full Moon on Monday" for THAT story). Or when he gets up in the mornings, upzips his footie jammies, rips off the (still dry) PullUp, and then attempts to run to the bathroom with his jammies still around his ankle.

One of these days, he's going to kill himself, I swear.... if he doesn't kill me first!