"I want a diarrhea!!!"

I love kids.

I really do.

Especially when they make me laugh so hard I cry.

And even more when I see other people trying not to laugh.

We went for our customary Saturday lunch at McDonald's. They have Hello Kitty toys right now. On a previous trip, H had gotten a diary as her Happy Meal toy. She loved it.

So today when Daddy came back with the toys, A could not wait to see what one she had gotten. Mostly cuz she specifically requested the diary on the way in. Apparently Daddy didn't hear that though, and requested two of the "Hello Kitty heads" that H had asked for (mirrored compact with strawberry lipslogg).

Upon seeing that the toy was the Hello kitty head, A pushed out her bottom lip and exclaimed, "BUT I WANTED DIARRHEA!!!".

I couldn't help it. I laughed. R laughed. I had to wipe tears off while I told A that Daddywould exchange it. She loudly exclainmed "But I want diarrhea!!" again, bringing shudders to me as I tried to control my laughter.

And then I noticed the older people sitting near us. Politely trying to pretend they hadn't heard what she said, but not being so good at it. Snickering into closed fists and looking away to laugh. Smiling those "I love it, not my kid!" smiles.

As A and her Daddy walked awya to exchange it, one lady gave me the biggest smile.

"How old is she?" she asked.

"Four," I replied.

"Such a great age," she said as she laughed. "So cute. And that made my day."

Oh boy. If she only knew what her smile did for mine.

Dat shit.

**from June 21st.....**

This afternoon, I was changing the baby's diaper. This, of course, is an event that involves every single child standing there, watching and commenting.

They were making typical comments like "C pooped!" or "C is stinky! Eeew!" and then laughing. And they were right - he had pooped, and he was stinky.

So you can imagine how proud I was (not!) when S (22mos) walked up, looked at me wiping up poop, and calmly informed all of us "Dat shit".

My poor mother had to go outside because she about killed herself trying to to laugh.

So there's this little old lady......

I took the girls to gymnastics Friday morning. As I'm coming home, I need to make a right turn at a stoplight. Already at the light - stopped - is a little old lady in a typical little old lady boat.

I can tell she's ancient - I mean, I can see this huge ginormous floppy old lady hat peeking over the edge of the driver's seat.

The light in our direction turns from red to green. She doesn't move (her blinker is indicating she wants to turn right also, her car is already slightly turned that way, and she's watching traffic to the left).

She still doesn't move.

I tap my horn politely after a few secs to let her know the light is green. Meanwhile, traffic coming at us from the left side is all stopped at the light, and the oncoming traffic across from us is now turning left cuz she's not going anywhere.

I tap my horn again - politely - to get her to wake up. I'm thinking maybe she's had a massive coronary or something and is dead cuz it's OBVIOUS the light is only red in the other direction.

Still she doesn't move.

So I give the horn a good ole HONK and mutter a few curse words under my breath.

She finally turns.

The boys all cheer from behind me.

I turn.

And move into the left lane, cuz I need to turn left now. As I pass her, she honks at me.

I find this wildly amusing for some strange reason. I don't think she was being polite either when she honked.

She honks again, much more insistently.

I slow down waiting to turn and she pulls up alongside me.She's about 90000 years old and can barely see over the steering wheel. The floppy hat makes me wonder if she can see at all (and probably explains why she didn't know the light was green).

She pushes her hat up slightly.

And freaking flips me the bird.