Oh child of mine.....

Did your mother ever look at you and say, "I hope you have a child JUST LIKE YOU some day!"?

And did you ever laugh in her face as she said that?

I did, and it's coming back to haunt me tenfold now!!

The girls had their well-child checkups yesterday. A turned 5 two weeks ago and is the bane of my exoistence.

The pediatrician asks her to build a block tower, stacking single blocks as high as she can. So A builds three towers side by each, and towards the top pyramids them to come to just one.

He looks at it, says "That's great, but why did you do it that way?"

She tells him "Because I DON'T LIKE the way YOU did it".

I wanted to crawl under the exam table and die, but we'd already discussed her defiant behavior.

He asked her to name the letter on a block.

She did, correctly.

He asked her the color on another.

She got it right again.

He started to point to a 3rd and she didn't even let him ask before she said "Red A" and rolled her eyes like he was stupid.

Rolled. Her. Eyes. At. The. Pediatrician.

I sat on my hands so I didn't reach over and strangle her.

Onto phone & address. Answers both correctly and tells him, "But I don't know my zipcode cuz MOMMY won't TEACH ME". Glares at me.

Draws her picture, telling him, "And I'll write my name down for you too so you know who did this, okay?".

He asks her to draw a circle. She tells him she ALREADY DID, see, right here, this head is a circle. He asks for a triangle. She blows out a huffy breath and says "OKAY, OKAY, FINE".

I'm apologizing for her behavior. He smiles and tells me it's fine. Takes the pen away from her. All hell breaks loose because she is NOT FINISHED DRAWING HER PICTURE YET, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Ensue full blown fit pitching (which, I might add, the ped and I had talked about already...... hahahaha)

He tells her she is indeed done.

I agree, and tell her to get her clothes on before I kill her (only I said it all nice).

She continues to scream at both of us about all the injustice in the world and how we are MEAN MEAN MEAN and she just wants to FINISH HER PICTURE and GIVE ME BACK THE PEN.

He tells me there is nothing wrong with her other than she is extremely smart... probably a little too much for her own good. Tells me to hang in there and keep doing what I am doing - being consistent and firm. He leaves.

She finally shuts up, puts her clothes on, walks out to the front desk, and acts like the sweetest child ever, saying "Oh thank you" and batting those big brown eyes at the receptionists who gave her stickers.

In a nutshell, everything is good, she's going through a phase (no kidding), and she should go to bed earlier.

Me, I'm cursing my mother for wishing this upon me.

I have a confession

I haven't been entirely honest with any of you lately about the status of my relationship. It's been going downhill and it's time to come clean.

It started innocently enough. A quick glance while visiting a friend. A longer look. A lingering touch. One thing lead to another, and I knew it was time to move on. I've talked to a friend and she's encouraged me to move forward and let go of the past.

I considered my current relationship. While it had started out well enough, things have been going downhill for the past year or so. He's been for therapy on three different occasions but things don't seem to get any better. I still have to beg to get him to perform, and even at that it's touchy. Move the wrong way and he snaps. And man, my arm hurts afterwards from stroking him just so!

So I thought long and hard.

He's still good with the kids, so I haven't kicked him out entirely. I have explained that I have different needs now and he has agreed he will live upstairs as of yesterday. Hopefully we'll be able to maintain a working relationship.

The other one moved in uesterday afternoon.

He's tall and good looking, distinctively grey. He picks up around the house. The dogs aren't too sure of him, but the kids seem to like him. Me, I am thrilled. Couldn't ask for more. He's an animal in the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the living room - everywhere!!

An Absolute Animal. The Dyson DC17 version.

You know you are truely grown up when you get excited about new appliances!