Only in OK

So I'm driving along this morning, taking A to school. While we live in a more rural area, it's certainly well populated with the usual subdivisions, homes, WalMart, and Target. The roads are normal roads that stretch alongside homes. You know, like pretty much everywhere.

So imagine my surprise as I drive down one and see something moving in the bushes off to my left... and out of the bushes pop 3 freaking bison! The first was pretty big, looked at me calmly (yeah, I hit the brakes and said "OMG! Kids look - buffaloes!"), and walked on past. The other two followed along. Nobody appeared concerned.

I briefly wondered about backing up and letting the kids have another look - after all, when was the last time you had a bison stare into your vehicle? - then thought perhaps I should go ring some doorbells and find out where they belonged.

However, true to OK, the next driveway held a llama and a donkey.... and the apparent owners of the bison.

I assume they rounded them all up safely as I saw no wrecks, dead buffalo, or people running around on our return trip.

And here I thought people watching at WalMart was fun. ;)

Once upon a time

Once upon a time, I had a "real" job. One where I actually had to shave my legs more often than when a small hand stroked one and said "ooooh.... soft, like the puppy!". One where it mattered what I was wearing. One where I spoke to other adults on a regular basis and actually ate my OWN lunch every day.

Then I had children.

And started doing daycare.

And my adult conversations these days consists mostly of discussing poop. And listening to grown people speaking to kids like... well... children. Ridiculously small children with squeaky voices.

But seriously, who tells you about all the glamorous aspects of parenthood? Nobody ever warned me back when we contemplated having a child about poop. Or how corn still looks like corn when it comes out the back end.

Or how my 2 year old son (Happy Birthday, S!) would find it hilariously funny to pretend to pick a booger out of his elephant's nose and then hand it to me saying "Eat it, Momma!" as he falls over laughing at his joke.

Last week, I had the dubiously joyful task of taking the girls to their schools to drop off school supplies. At A's class (K4), the boys stampeded in noisily, found places to sit, and amused themselves with the various toys in the classroom. The baby slept peacefully in his carseat, tucked out of the way in a corner. H visited with her (old) teacher while A and I checked out the classroom.

That afternoon, we headed to the gradeschool for H's class. Someone - obviously not the parent of a toddler - had scheduled supply drop off from 2-3pm. Right smack dab in the middle of naptime. Who are they kidding? I heard many parents griping about it too as they walked in with younger siblings slung on shoulders, fast asleep.

Not my group.

In we walked. Five walking, one awake and wailing in the stroller. The minute we hit the classroom, small bodies went everywhere. I tried rounding children up. I tried asking them to come and stand quietly by me. And when all else failed, I reverted to what the dog trainer taught us - I barked a command at them.

"SIT!" I ordered. "Right here, by the stroller, and NOBODY moves or else."

Four bottoms dropped to the floor. H continued to speak to her teacher, who was grinning at me. One little voice piped up from my feet and asked if they could look at the books behind them. I agreed. And they all behaved like perfect little children.

The next day, I dropped girls at school and took my remaining quartet of boys to Linens N Things to buy muffin pans. I darn near told them all to heel, but thought better of it and told them all "Right with me, hands to yourselves, no touching ANYTHING".

The saleslady remarked on what lovely, well behaved boys I had. If she only knew.... :)

IMPOTENT POWER!!!

I love this kid. She's forever cracking me up with the way she says things. Like her "empty3 player" instead of MP3 player.

Today was classic.

I picked the girls up from gymnastics. They were doing their usual "I'm better than you are" back & forth over running speed.

H says she has 10 times power.

A says she has 100 times power.

H says she has 1000 times power.

A says she has 2000 times power.

H says she has 300,000 times power.

At this point, I'm helping A do up her seatbelt, so I whisper to her, "Tell her you have infinite power!!".

A gleefully announces at the top of her little lungs,

"I HAVE IMPOTENT POWER!!!!"

When I quit laughing, I did correct her. I didn't explain though. :)

MOM magnet, hard at work

A fine example of just how powerful the pull of the MOM magnet really is.

Friday afternoon, I just wanted some time to myself. Alone. With no children. Or adults. Or even animals, for that matter. Had a glass of wine and was chatting to a friend through MSN.

We have a house. A big house. With plenty of rooms, televisions, surfaces to sit or lie on, and even other computers. Spread throughout the house. Lots of room for five people, three dogs, and three cats to be apart from each other.

So why did I suddenly have four other people and three dogs in this room with me?

Right. The MOM magnet and its irrestistable freaky force of nature.

I finally had enough, shut the laptop, picked it and my glass of wine up, and stalked outside. Turned on the fan to blow off some of the 95F temp and 8000% humidity, sat down and opened up the laptop again.

BANG!!

The screen door blew open and out came child #3.

BOOM!!

The door flew open again, and child #2 came out, accompanied by dogs 2 & 3.

Cat #3 meowed piteously at the now-open door.

Not five minutes later, dh came out, followed by child 1. Oh, and dog 1. And cat 3 managed to sneak out at some point aas well, winding his sleek body around my ankles.

The force I exude amazes me. At this point, I surrendered, checked our mystery plant, discovered a fruit ripe for picking, and asked mb if cantaloupe went well with wine.

She assured me it did, and she was right. Went so well, in fact, I was forced to drink the remaining white wine. :)